Following is a piece of computer humor that's been circulating around the Internet for some time. (It shows up in my my email box every once in a while.) I'm not sure who wrote it, otherwise I'd gladly give credit. In addition, it appears that it's been updated to include the current OS entries of Vista and Mac OSX.
It's funny, inventive in its round-a-bout commentary, and all too true.
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...
UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come tothe airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane togetherpiece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they aresupposed to be building.
Air DOS Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump onand let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they pushagain, jump on again, and so on...
Mac Airlines All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agentslook and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details,you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don'twant to know, and everything will be done for you without your everhaving to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards,easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes,and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XPAir planes.All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times asbig as they need to be.The signs are huge and all point the same way.Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointedhat insisting you follow him.Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Airsuit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is includedin the exorbitant ticket cost.The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract.The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same MickeyMouse cartoon repeated over and over again.You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal ordrink.You are searched regularly throughout the flight.If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket.No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crashlanding at Whistler in Canada.
OSX Air You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting inthe corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. Shesmiles and says "Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take yourpicture", at which point a camera in the wall you didn't notice beforetakes your picture. "Thank you, here is your ticket" You are handed aminimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all ofyour information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. Youenter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen tomusic and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any ofthe other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself "wow,that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing"
Windows Vista Airlines You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have everseen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are"sure" you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would liketo cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and askthe agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the securityofficer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hearthe answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makescustomers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow.Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by theflight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Thenit is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectivelythe same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you arepunched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure youwant me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctivelysay "Allow".After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn'tupdated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in thedown position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilotsare used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon thelanding gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward mileswith XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A closefriend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a muchbetter alternative and helps.
Linux Air Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide tostart their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave therunways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost ofprinting the ticket, but you can also download and print theticket yourself.When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, awrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustableseat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time withouta single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tellcustomers of the other airlines about the great trip, but allthey can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
So, if operating systems were airlines, I'd be telling you to Get Linux Air.
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